VERY Pregnant

Let me rewind here.

The day before our first beta, I threw in the towel. I had a long talk with the big guy upstairs, bawling my eyes out, snot running down my face, ugly cry kinda talk. I told him that I accept and understand, that I will be fine with whatever the outcome. Round 3 had officially taken its toll on me. Emotionally and physically, I was drained. The hormones were throwing me all over the place, I hadn't felt one single pregnancy symptom, and I was positive that I fried the little guys while getting a massage on a heated blanket (stupid me.....although a nurse I spoke with later said this could have helped with implantation). Anyway, I had given up and told the hubby...begged the hubby to stop my shots. I just couldn't do it anymore. He said one more day, "lets see what the results say."

Unbeknown to him, my sister had given me her remaining pregnancy test, and I took it the very next morning right when I woke up. This felt, in some weird way, like I was in control of something. Like I had the ability to know the outcome before I was told by someone else. This whole process has shown me what little control over anything that I have, so I peed on the damn stick. And waited. And paced. And then after the longest three minutes, stood there in shock. In the first time in almost four years, I had my very first positive pregnancy test. The hubby was sleeping when I jumped in the bed and showed him. We just sat there, smiling and shocked.

The biggest shock came just four hours later when our nurse called to tell us congratulations, that I am, "very pregnant." Our beta at 10dp2dt was 315! Four days later, at 14dp2dt our beta was a whopping 3,125. The nurse shared that she had never seen a number that high and that it could indicate multiples. I ran downstairs and shared the news with the hubby and we just laughed and laughed. Was this real?!?!?

So the next two weeks, I spent googling other betas and comparing numbers. To be honest, I rarely found any beta numbers similar to mine, and became convinced (and terrified) that I was, no doubt, carrying quadruplets. I was convinced that both embryos took, and split.  At our ultrasound I was a nervous wreck and could not stop shaking....from excitement and fear. On the screen, I watched as they located baby A and then baby B. Twins!!!!!! We had always dreamed of having twins. Our family would now be complete. 

So here I am, week 14 and I still cannot believe it. WE still cannot believe it. We've had 3 ultrasounds and have watched as they have grown from little dots, to tadpole looking like creatures, to actual human beings. At our last appointment, we watched as they arched their backs, did karate kicks, and even a flip. Active little guys.....it was so exciting to watch.

Overall, I feel good. My morning sickness came at night, which was perfect since I needed to teach during the day. That has subsided and now I deal with headaches and migraines, but we are managing. I am very thankful to be in this position and yet, a part of me is constantly worrying that all of this will fall apart. I'm hoping that as my belly continues to grow, that these horrible thoughts will fade....

Until then, I pray for me and our little ones..... And of course, I pray for you. 

:)

P.S. I began writing this post 3 weeks ago...and posted this finally on 10/18/2015