Exploding Ice Packs

I can hardly walk. I am currently icing my sore buttocks as the Oil in Progesterone shots have given me knots in my cheeks (I feel like I have gum balls knotted in my muscles). I called my nurse today and she told me this OIP shot that I'm taking has given a lot of ladies cellulitis. Sweet! So, I ordered new meds and they're on their way....sesame seed OIP is the best way to go apparently.

Other than that, I feel great! Really, I do! Today some of my students asked me why I was walking funny, so I told them I fell. I whipped out some ice packs and told them I was going to ice my behind. If you know any fourth graders, you know how easily entertained they are and that they find almost anything hysterical. So during free write, some of them decided to write some hilarious stories as to how I wiped out. Not gonna lie, their stories were pretty enjoyable to read. I think the best part (for them) was when my ice pack exploded and it looked like I wet myself. I can only imagine the topic of conversation at their dinner tables tonight. You have to find the humor, right?

:-)

Transfer Day!

I am currently pregnant. Or until proven otherwise.

The whole day went pretty smoothly. Our 2.5 hour drive was smooth- no traffic and the best part was not having to pull over to administer my OIP shot (since our transfer was scheduled later in the morning). I guess the only hiccup would be that my bladder was not full enough to perform the transfer. So after chugging 4 bottles of water and a half hour later, they were able to transfer two beautiful embryos.

We are both pretty geeked right now and feeling optimistic.

:-)

Beauty For Ashes

Many thanks to my sister for finding and sharing this beauty: 

Beauty For Ashes

He offers beauty for ashes

Strength for our pain

Hope for all who call on His name.

He offers to hold all our tears

Clothe us in white

And turn the dark into light.

But so often we forget…

To get beauty for ashes, something must burn

To get strength for pain, something must hurt

For Him to hold all our tears, we must cry

To turn the dark into light, we have to face a black night.

All His promises are true

He’ll do just what He said He’d do.

Yet so many times,

In the fire, pain, and tears

We hide in the darkness,

And cry out in fear

“Where are you, God?”

And He says,

“To get beauty for ashes, something must burn

To get strength for pain, something must hurt

For Him to hold all our tears, we must cry

To turn the dark into light, we have to face a black night.

But I promise you, 

In the end, 

I will make all things new.”

2 more days.....

Goodbye Lupron! Hello OIP!

After 48 days of being poked in the belly.... I am officially done with Lupron! One small victory! Our ultrasound went well on Tuesday (no cysts and my lining looks good) so I began the oil in progesterone shots this morning. This needle is terrifying. It's one and a half inches long, or about the length of my pinky. BUT, I took it in the a$$ like a champ (sorry, I couldn't resist). So far, not too painful....but ask me again in a couple of weeks. I am also on 4mg of Estrace (morning and night) instead of 3 times a day. I begin some more pills tomorrow that last until the day after my transfer, which will in fact, be on Tuesday.

I'm out of my funk. I think that my little ski adventure helped. My acupuncture appointment is today and I am really looking forward to it. I have had zero stress and I attribute a lot of it to acupuncture. I just wish it would take away my roller coaster of emotions as well. Although, I have to say, I am doing a lot better. 

This weekend is going to be a chill weekend. Nothing but movie marathons, a walk on the treadmill, and a little lesson planning. Oh, and probably stuffing my face with delicious food. ;-) 

3 more days! 

Some Days Suck

I fill my days with yoga, acupuncture, quality time with the hubby & friends. I even throw myself into my work (which I happen to love).  I also have a hobby to make a little money on the side and have started making scarves (which is very guided right now), but I'm learning.

I really try my best to not let this situation get me down or consume me. I try so hard to stay positive, but some days just suck. Today was one of them.

Big bellies, baby talk, another anouncement.... It's crazy how someone's joy and exciting news can be so heart-breaking to another. Truly, I am happy for this person, but heartbroken because I would love to be the one delivering the news. I also feel a tremendous amount of guilt for feeling this way.

It's day 45 of the Lupron shots. My belly is sore....and I am so tired of this process. Our transfer is a week from today (pending on our ultrasound appointment tomorrow) and I should be excited, but to be honest, I don't know how I feel.

Tomorrow we are going skiing with a bunch of friends. I'm excited and hoping that it will get me out of my funk. Add to the list of unexpected places to get a shot: the slopes! A shot on the slopes! Haha! I might actually need to make a pit-stop in the lodge and get an actual shot.

Please feel free to send any positive thoughts, vibes, prayers, or quotes my way. :-)

& Yoga

This is also helping me to get through this process. Yoga with my bestie. A lot of stretching, relaxing, and laughing too. Laughing helps!

I started my twice a day Estrace pill on Saturday along with my 10 units of Lupron.. The migraines are gone and so are the hot flashes....kinda. Well, they're better anyway. Tomorrow I start Estrace 3 times a day.

I've also decided that I will continue acupuncture after this process is over as I have never been so relaxed in my life. In fact, I was so relaxed today, that I fell asleep during my session! The cost is totally worth it.

13 more days...

Good Reads

This past week we had three snow days and it has been awesome. So relaxing. With all of my time off I know that I should be doing something more productive, but I've been doing a lot of reading  and happened to come across these two beauties. If you get a chance, please read them.

I Could Have A Baby, But She Could Not

No, It Wasn't Just You


My acupuncture appointment is later this morning and I am VERY excited. A lunch date with the hubby will follow. :-)


17

Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots!

Sorry Little John, now when I hear your song....I think of needles.
                           
Our first IVF protocol required me to take a cocktail of shots, such as; Follitism, Menopur, Ganirelix, Pregnyl, and the dreaded Progesterone shots (those needles are huge). These shots were sometimes taken 2 to 3 times a day between 6-8 in the morning and at night as well.

Being on a schedule didn't bother me.

The bruises didn't bother me.

The shots itself didn't bother me.

I really had no side effects from these shots (although the hubby might argue I was extra emotional). Lupron? These are the tiniest shots I've had to use for this protocol and it is miserable. Although the hubby is a pro now at giving the shots, my skin has toughened and it is difficult to even get a needle into my belly. I'm bruised a little, but that doesn't bother me. What bothers me are the migraines that I have been getting from this drug. The migraines knock me off my feet and I'm usually bedridden for hours with an ice pack on my head, trying not to vomit. I now also understand what hot flashes are all about. I'm shivering with my heating pad one minute, then the next minute I'm ripping my clothes off because I'm sweating to death. Miserable.

Mom, I get it now. On so many levels.

19 more days.

I can do it.

It's a Happening!

Yesterday the hubby and I braved the weather for another blood draw. After 6 days my estradiol level dropped tremendously from 417 to 23! SCORE!!!!!

So although my transfer was suppose to happen today,  it' still going to happen....just 21 days from now.

Looking for the positive.

Can't wait.

:-)

Note to Self

My sister sends me inspirational quotes all the time. I love them, I need them (especially this one this morning). 

A good little reminder for myself and others too.....

Healing Stones, Acupuncture & Psychics

It's officially been 3 years since the hubby and I have began our TTC journey. It's been a long, crazy, and an exhausting journey to say the least. We went from "let's just try and see what happens" to "Shit, nothing's happening."

 So of course I added some unconventional methods to help our odds:

Healing Stones. 

Yep, I know. Some of my friends have had a pretty good laugh when they would compliment me on my stone necklaces and I would share that it was a healing stone (I probably should have just said thanks and bit my tongue), but I cannot blame them. I know how ridiculous it sounds that a stone can 'heal' and boost fertility odds. I now have three of them and they really are beautiful. Recently a good friend bought my husband one as well. When I showed him he, of course, laughed and rolled his eyes. HOWEVER, he complimented as to how cool the stone looked and put it in his jean pocket (you are suppose to carry them in your pockets or place them in your pillow case). Im sure he did this to appease me, but whatever. After that night I found the stone on his night stand and knew it would probably stay there for eternity. So I did what any other crazy wife would do, I went to place it in his pillowcase, but realized he'd probably find it. Now the stone is between the mattress and bed sheet, covered up by his pillow. Who the hell knows if it has healing properties, but I'm willing to try it!

Acupuncture

This is something that I have always been curious about. I have heard that women have had really great results with acupuncture. Specifically, those trying to conceive with the help of IVF. So, about a month ago I started researching and called around to some acupuncture places. One place stated that they like to see their clients 3 months before an IVF procedure because they like to help them regulate their cycles and such. They said with less than a month until my procedure that it may not help much, but that it couldn't hurt either. So far I've gone 4 times and I LOVE it. It is just super relaxing and peaceful. I would highly recommend it! 

Psychics

I know, I know. WTF, right? Well, honestly I do believe in psychics. I've always been fascinated with them. In fact, I probably should have listened to a psychic friend with whom I worked with over five years ago. He told me (with worry) that my husband and I NEEDED to try for a family right away. First of all, he scared the shit out of me when he said this, but also, at that time babies scared the shit out of me in general. We were NOT ready to start a family, the thought hadn't even crossed my mind. About two and a half years ago after our unsuccessful attempts for a family, I contacted another psychic. I was desperate! I wanted to know if she saw us with a child. She said that she did in fact see us with a little one, and that it would happen before Christmas. Well, that was two Christmas' ago. I don't want to knock her abilities, because there are many things that she did tell me that were accurate and so personal (there is no way she could have known some of the info because I had never told anyone). In fact, many of her predictions did come true. (Well, I guess if you look at it one way, I was pregnant before Christmas). ANYWAY, no more psychics. Not because I don't believe in them, but because I don't want to fixate on things that should or could happen. AND also because I was racking up the credit card bills every 6 months just to hear her tell me something that would give me peace (for like five minutes anyway). I was too dependent on her words. I haven't contacted my psychic lady in over a year now because I'm leaving it up to the BIG guy upstairs. I trust him, he knows what he is doing. 

Organic Everything

For the last year, my hubby and I have gone green. Organic foods, chemical-free soaps, shampoo, and cleaning supplies. My sister told me last April that a lady she knew had her husband stop using products with chemicals and that his count improved greatly. Not only that, but they were able to conceive without the help of science. For me, I just feel better, healthier in general. The hubby gave me a hard time at first, but he's quite proud of our healthy lifestyle changes too. Talc and paraben-free is the way to be! Seriously, try it. 

So, now that I look like a total nut, is there anything you would recommend we try? As you can see, we are willing to try anything at least once. ;-)